Da Rules

     When we were freshmen in high school, two of my friends and I created a secret society of sorts. We devised a plan to go on an epic trip during the summer between Junior and Senior year. We held special meetings to look at maps, and thought ourselves so smart when we figured out which highways to take to get from Dallas to San Antonio. We took meticulous notes in a Spongebob Squarepants spiral. The trip idea sort of pittered out, but the jottings that remain are great. I found a list of "world capitals" in Texas (the cactus capital of Texas is Sanderson etc). There's also a miscellaneous page that just contains the lyrics to "I"m a little teapot" and random phrases such as "toe nail polish is good!" and "She has a green nose like a lobster!". What can I say? I was a strange 15 year old. Out of all the scattered attempts at order, my favorite by far is the list of rules I found at the back of the notebook....

(my commentary will be in blue)

Da Rules:

1.   No parents are allowed unnecessary knowledge about said group (we'd planned to embarck on this road trip in the dead of the night, just leaving a note on our beds to explain our absesce- which is obviously the most logical course of action if you want to enjoy yourself and stay our of trouble.)
2. During every meeting, we must sit criss cross apple sauce in a cirle with a scented candle in the middle of us.
3. This candle must be lit by the person who's house we are occupying
4. All jewelry must be around candle and not on body
5. No gold jewelry, it's ugly
6. Phones shall be off and facedown in center of cirle, surrounding candle.
7. No e-mailing, facebook, or improper internet use will be tolerated
8. No hats on heads
9. No contacts on eyes
10. No underwear outside of clothes (It worries me that we thought this was important enough to write down)
11. No white out is to be used ever within this Spongebob notebook.- tis blasphemy
12. No taking pictures while in circle, except discreetly without looking (pretty sure this means that neither the photographer nor the subject can look at eachother while taking a picture...)
13. No mention of Winnie the Pooh while in circle
14. No mammals (besides us) within a five foot radius of circle
15. No chairs or tables, as they inhibit the creative process
16. No lingerie or sports bras (very important)
17. At least one pillow must be present at all times
18. Each member must adhere to color-coded system at all times (the actual color-coded system is referanced nowhere else, which makes things difficult)
19. All members must be properly moisturized at all times
20. All members must be present at every discussion.
21. Only those whose names are on the cover can partake in said event (as if anybody else would crash our weird teenage cult meetings)
22. No discussions outside of circle (I'm not sure if this rule refers to discussions about the trip, or just discussions in general)
23. (and last but not least) If flatulating, one can momentarily leave circle, but only for 90 seconds maximum. 

Dedicated readers, leave a comment with what non sense rules you'd enforce for your own secret society! (This means you Karen :) )